MY FRIENDS ARE GAY!!!! (well not really)

THIS BLOG DESERVES TO BE IN ALL CAPS, BECAUSE MY FRIENDS ARE BEING A**HOLES. THEY ARE MAD AT ME BECAUSE WE DID NOT HANG OUT THIS WEEKEND, EVEN THOUGH WE HANG LIKE EVERY WEEKEND. THAT IS WHY TYLER AND MACI ARE MAD AT ME. HOWEVER, KIRSTYN JUST FLAT OUT TOLD ME SHE HATES ME :( GOD THAT TORE MY POOR LITTLE HEART UP EVEN MORE. I HOPE THEY REALIZE THAT I AM SORRY AND I WILL HANG WITH THEM THIS WEEKEND PLUS ME AND TYLER NEED TO GO TUX SHOPPING FOR PROM ANYWAYS. I HOPE THEY FORGIVE ME FOR MY "WRONG DOING" AND WE ARE ALL HAPPY GO LUCKY, BESIDES KIRSTYN (SHE HAS NO SOUL) SO SHE WOULD NEVER BE HAPPY GO LUCKY. HMMM...IM SORRY TYLER, MACI, AND KIRSTYN. KIRSTYN IS THERE ANY WAY WE CAN BE BEST FRIENDS AGAIN? THAT IS ALL FOR NOW. BYE.

Hmm....

I have not been myself at all lately, and I am kind of seeing that today. I just want things to back to the way they were. I want my relationship with my ex to be how it was when we first got together, I want to be able to dress how I want and do what I want without people looking at me funny and judging me. I want to go back and fix my relationship with my biological dad, maybe express that I love him, even though he does not love me. This would of possibly made it where he would actually want to come around. I want to go back and see my grandma more, before she left us. This is what I regret the most, because now that she is gone, I cant not go over and just talk and I do hear "Put a coat on darling its cold" anymore. I wish she was here she would give me a big hug and tell me she loves me and everything will be ok. I want to go back and help my cousin so she wouldn't commit suicide, maybe my cousins would have there mom back and everything would of changed. I want to go back and help my friend Aaron through all his issues, so maybe he would not of got killed. Wow I can't believe that there are still so many things that I wish I would of done in life. To think this is just the beginning and there are losts more to come unfortunately.

LOST

I've been very stressed here lately and it's driving me insane. Especially school and my love life those are my two big-a-boos that I am having issues with. Ugh it's so frustrating...anyone else here super stressed? I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm the only one that feels this way at the moment.

But hey things are looking up like I had a great Friday night with my three best friends Maci, Tyler, and Kirstyn. Weiner Works was pretty awesome. However the car ride there and back was the best it was so open and everything. Then Walmart came around and I was caught looking at condoms and sex gel. What a way to end the night.

Then Saturday me, Tyler, Destini, and Robin went to the movies at midnight and seen Red Riding Hood it was very good and awesome and it was fun being the only four in the theater. The best part was when my cousin found out who the actual wolf was she freaked and jumped into her sit. Then we left there and went o Steak n' Shake and who got the bill for everyone? Thats right this kid right here did so it put a hole in my check book, but hey it cost to have a good time. So we got home at like 4:30 a.m and I got to sleep at 6 and woke up at 7 for work so safe to say work Sunday morning was not fun at all.

Then today in P.E we had a bet going in archery and Hunter's mom said she would give the person that shot the best $5.00 and guess who won that...yeah thats right that was me as well. So today is looking pretty dang good.

:( BURNED

I feel like everyone is out to get me all of a sudden it's a bad situation to be in trust me. I'm sorry for being a douche-bag to everyone I was being a douche-bag to. I feel pretty low for breaking some promises to a certain friend of mine. I hope this friend will forgive me, even though I am a complete idiot and I understand completely why she hates me. Well never-mind there is no hope of her forgiving me she wants nothing to do with me, well isn't this just freaking dandy.

I wish there was a way I could fix this and make everything right, like it was before when everything seemed fine. But, I have no idea what to do anymore I'm slowly losing hope not in you but in myself. You tell me to just leave you alone and that you hate me, but I just can't not like this anyways. I'm trying my hardest not to hurt you or make you mad at me, but everything I do seems to push you away even more. I guess this is just the story of my life and I should just skip all the chapters and go straight to the end, since this is the repeating pattern of my life.

Hmmm...well i'm kind of engaged

Well this weekend was pretty awesome and so many things have happened that I don't even know where to begin..I guess I will start off by saying the play went very well my grandma, uncle, and dad came from Tennessee and surprised me and Destini. I was so happy to see them I haven't seen my dad in like a year it was so great. Well after our play Friday we went to Steak n' Shake with them and I got to see Ben it was like the best night ever to bad it had to end. Then Saturday at scholastic bowl I kind of cuddled with Justin Gann when I meant to cuddle up to Tyler...so that was very embarrassing.

Then Sunday came along and I was bored out of my mind all day and I came up with the idea of going to the movies so me and Jess went to the movies and Brianna and her girlfriend was there, well I went to pee and Brianna followed me and basically kissed me and told me she wants to be with me and she would do anything so enough said I was happy as hell to get my baby back.

Monday morning I went to pick Brianna up and all that kept crossing my mind was how happy I am to be with her and how much I never want to loose her again. So we went to the mall and caught up with some friends and her and her friends went to walk around and I was by myself, I went and looked at some rings and I found one I really liked so I get it and right in the middle of the mall I knelled down and asked her to marry me, because I never wanted to loose her again, it was the worse feeling in the world she cried and said yes, and the people around us was cheering and yelling for us it was great.

Sooo....

I hate people that don't get the hint like my CRAZY ex Brianna she broke up with me and at that point I really didn't care at all. So I told her to leave me alone I didn't want anything to do with her, but no of course not all she does is text me and she has a new girlfriend and everything.

So girls I got a question for you if you broke up with someone and they did nothing wrong to you would you burn their stuff? That's exactly what she did..its awesome I think I'm out two t-shirts and a sweatshirt but still why would she do that when I did nothing to her at all. Oh well I think I might have a bonfire of my own and get rid of everything that she left over at my house.

So other than than my week has been pretty good and the weekend is going to be even better :)...but I have to end this by saying GO TO THE PLAY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY at 7 p.m!!!!!!

Party time

So this weekend is going to be the best weekend I've had in a very long time. Right after play practice me and my sister are heading to Mattoon. She is going to hang out with her boyfriend Jason and I am going to chill with Codi and her girlfriend...I swear we are going to keep it legal (yeah right). It's just going to be a very awesome weekend.

So what to talk about? It's been a pretty laid back boring week. Hmmm...well I guess I will just explain that Tyler VanOstrand my husband is not here today so my Friday has been sad. Least my best friend Kirstyn is here so that is a great thing, and so is my other best friend Maci...hmm this blog is really dull and boring. I'm just going to get off of here and play some games.

Comment me with your plans for the weekend.