...bored

I am now at that point, where I do not want to do anything any school anymore. I just want graduate and it be summer. Like this week when the seniors were on class trip, I was outside playing basketball and running around and with school I can not just play ball all the time. Today however I played basketball in P.E with the guys and I showed them up, Travis told me I was on his team til we graduate because I was raining three pointers left and right. Sometimes I look back and really wish I would of stuck with basketball, even if the coaches were duches. My step-dad told me yesterday that I should work out like everyday  in the summer and go out for the team at SIU. That would be amazing and a dream come true to play ball in college, like I don't even know I would go crazy if I got through try-outs. But I am no idiot, so I am not getting my hopes up and I am going to stick with going into the theater group at SIU with Tyler. I'm pretty excited that we have about two weeks left of actual school and this week I have my girlfriends prom to go to, and the weekend after that I have my own prom, then the weekend after that it is finally GRADUATION!!!!!!! May 22, 2011 is going to be the happiest day of my life, just sayin'.

Hahaha!

Hacked! Don't leave your blog open, Kayleah. =)

NOTHING

This week is slowly dragging on and it sucks big time, I can not wait til graduation and be able to hang out with my best friends on summer days before college. Even now it feels like summer, and it sucks because I just want to be outside all the time rather than at school or at work. I bet everyone is starting to have this feeling as well even teachers who strive to make our lives hell. So hopefully time picks up speed and the next month flies by, even though when the time is near and we graduate it is going to be a very emotional day. But my bright side is I'm not leaving Tyler I will be going to SIU with him, I am so excited for our adventure of going grocery shopping together and everything. God he is so cute. Tyler if your reading this I love you so much man :). If your anyone else, you can not compete with my man sorry (just kidden). Oh and those that still have a year or so here all I can say is make the best of it and good luck.

This is all I have to really say, my mind is so blank right now and I have nothing clever to say. So that's all thank you for your time. BYE.




this is what my mind consists of right now.

MY FRIENDS ARE GAY!!!! (well not really)

THIS BLOG DESERVES TO BE IN ALL CAPS, BECAUSE MY FRIENDS ARE BEING A**HOLES. THEY ARE MAD AT ME BECAUSE WE DID NOT HANG OUT THIS WEEKEND, EVEN THOUGH WE HANG LIKE EVERY WEEKEND. THAT IS WHY TYLER AND MACI ARE MAD AT ME. HOWEVER, KIRSTYN JUST FLAT OUT TOLD ME SHE HATES ME :( GOD THAT TORE MY POOR LITTLE HEART UP EVEN MORE. I HOPE THEY REALIZE THAT I AM SORRY AND I WILL HANG WITH THEM THIS WEEKEND PLUS ME AND TYLER NEED TO GO TUX SHOPPING FOR PROM ANYWAYS. I HOPE THEY FORGIVE ME FOR MY "WRONG DOING" AND WE ARE ALL HAPPY GO LUCKY, BESIDES KIRSTYN (SHE HAS NO SOUL) SO SHE WOULD NEVER BE HAPPY GO LUCKY. HMMM...IM SORRY TYLER, MACI, AND KIRSTYN. KIRSTYN IS THERE ANY WAY WE CAN BE BEST FRIENDS AGAIN? THAT IS ALL FOR NOW. BYE.

Hmm....

I have not been myself at all lately, and I am kind of seeing that today. I just want things to back to the way they were. I want my relationship with my ex to be how it was when we first got together, I want to be able to dress how I want and do what I want without people looking at me funny and judging me. I want to go back and fix my relationship with my biological dad, maybe express that I love him, even though he does not love me. This would of possibly made it where he would actually want to come around. I want to go back and see my grandma more, before she left us. This is what I regret the most, because now that she is gone, I cant not go over and just talk and I do hear "Put a coat on darling its cold" anymore. I wish she was here she would give me a big hug and tell me she loves me and everything will be ok. I want to go back and help my cousin so she wouldn't commit suicide, maybe my cousins would have there mom back and everything would of changed. I want to go back and help my friend Aaron through all his issues, so maybe he would not of got killed. Wow I can't believe that there are still so many things that I wish I would of done in life. To think this is just the beginning and there are losts more to come unfortunately.

LOST

I've been very stressed here lately and it's driving me insane. Especially school and my love life those are my two big-a-boos that I am having issues with. Ugh it's so frustrating...anyone else here super stressed? I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm the only one that feels this way at the moment.

But hey things are looking up like I had a great Friday night with my three best friends Maci, Tyler, and Kirstyn. Weiner Works was pretty awesome. However the car ride there and back was the best it was so open and everything. Then Walmart came around and I was caught looking at condoms and sex gel. What a way to end the night.

Then Saturday me, Tyler, Destini, and Robin went to the movies at midnight and seen Red Riding Hood it was very good and awesome and it was fun being the only four in the theater. The best part was when my cousin found out who the actual wolf was she freaked and jumped into her sit. Then we left there and went o Steak n' Shake and who got the bill for everyone? Thats right this kid right here did so it put a hole in my check book, but hey it cost to have a good time. So we got home at like 4:30 a.m and I got to sleep at 6 and woke up at 7 for work so safe to say work Sunday morning was not fun at all.

Then today in P.E we had a bet going in archery and Hunter's mom said she would give the person that shot the best $5.00 and guess who won that...yeah thats right that was me as well. So today is looking pretty dang good.

:( BURNED

I feel like everyone is out to get me all of a sudden it's a bad situation to be in trust me. I'm sorry for being a douche-bag to everyone I was being a douche-bag to. I feel pretty low for breaking some promises to a certain friend of mine. I hope this friend will forgive me, even though I am a complete idiot and I understand completely why she hates me. Well never-mind there is no hope of her forgiving me she wants nothing to do with me, well isn't this just freaking dandy.

I wish there was a way I could fix this and make everything right, like it was before when everything seemed fine. But, I have no idea what to do anymore I'm slowly losing hope not in you but in myself. You tell me to just leave you alone and that you hate me, but I just can't not like this anyways. I'm trying my hardest not to hurt you or make you mad at me, but everything I do seems to push you away even more. I guess this is just the story of my life and I should just skip all the chapters and go straight to the end, since this is the repeating pattern of my life.